(This is not a reference to the TV show of the 60’s and 70’s, but it certainly reflects the mood of the gothic, a sort of dark cloud or fogginess that can surround and permeate a being.)
Within your own personal energy bubble, there may be nebulous dark areas that block the spiritual sun of higher consciousness that shines from within your core. It is those areas that are known as ones blind spots. Your higher consciousness cannot see through them, nor can most others see in. This especially has to do with the stirrings of the unconscious self, those unrealised and hidden feelings, motivations, dreams, fears,… that when you least expect it, jump out from somewhere inside and say or do something that is so out of character… everyone around you (including yourself) is quite shocked. Where did that come from? you may ask (if you are at all self consciously aware).
People who drink alchohol or take certain drugs often experience this phenomena… the uncontrolled release of the suppressed sub-conscious. It is no wonder the person has no recollection of what happened the next day…it is as if that memory was gone, out of sight, didn’t happen, lost…(but it is all there somewhere, tucked away safely in the closet of the subconscious with the other skeletons of unresolved issues).
Sometimes through hypnosis, these memories held within the dark subconscious (even those from past lives) can be retrieved and relived. However, the danger of this method used alone, is that there may not be a resolution or clearing of the negative energies surrounding these experiences. You may move into a place of awareness of some pretty nasty events and feelings that you have been through in the past (and this may be a good first step for some people to wake up with), but then what ? Since all these experiences are being held within the energy matrix field of the being (on one level or another) just to be aware of them may not be enough to clear them. The initial onset of trauma that the soul went through in the first place (on a conscious, energetic level) may have been so painful, confusing and overwhealming, that the soul chose to supress the whole event (plus the energy surrounding it) into the subconscious (children do this a lot).
The soul may not have had the energetic, spiritual, psychological resources to transform the trauma at the time of its occurance, nor may it have now. At this point, ones personal energies may be so wrapped up in supporting these unconscious holding patterns (suppressing our disfunctions and issues), that there is no available energy within to dedicate to inner transformation. Because the darkness that you have created is so large, you may have just a flicker of a spark of energy to use in this transformational process, rather than the supernova you will need to dispell it.
It takes a tremendously powerful energetic catalyst or event to transmute the experience back into its original form as pure energy (energy cannot be created or destroyed, only transmuted). So the question is , where do you get the extra power, energy, light,… to transform yourself with ? Yes, you do have it somewhere hidden within, though can you access all of it ? By covering up or suppressing your experiences, you have dis-associated your self from your powers, thereby breaking any conscious–energetic links to it.
To reverse this process, it will take two things : First, on the consciousness level, you will need to find someone who understands the process of linking (healing) of the sub-conscious to conscious to super-conscious, and has made these necessary connections within his own being. With that, he can then link those connections to you on those different levels, assisting you to begin the linking process within yourself. Second, on the energetic level, it will take an outside force (power, sun, energy) that can combine with yours, and turn your flicker into a flame, eventually a sun of its own (that you may “Be as Suns of God, shining the light of your perfection, just as your Higher Self does in heaven”).